Eons ago (it feels), when I was in high school, all of the graduating seniors were given an opportunity to pick a quote to go underneath their picture in the school yearbook. The quote that I chose was, "After winter must come spring. Change, it comes eventually." It's from the song Everything is Everything by Lauryn Hill. I picked the quote because it's words instilled hope in me at a time when everything around me seemed hopeless. To me, the quote means that everything in life happens in seasons and will eventually pass. It allowed me to see my situation as temporary and not permanent.
High school, especially my senior year, had been an extremely rough time for me. Perhaps I'll delve into the details of that in a later blog post when I feel comfortable. Despite all that went on during my four years in high school, I wanted to believe that it would not be indicative of the years to come. This belief did not come easily or suddenly because I had systematically allowed my life experiences to negatively color my outlook on my present and my future. It would require twice the effort and God knows how much time to undo the damage. At the time when I chose the quote I truly felt anything other than hopeful. However, I did not want myself or others to look back and see that all I left was a legacy of depression and sorrow.
I knew that if I wanted a future different than my past it would require different actions and a different mindset even if I was not yet fully sold on the idea of a bright future. Essentially, in the words of my pastor, I decided to "faith it until I made it." This is similar to but a bit different than the concept of faking it until you make it. I wasn't merely planning to go through the motions of a positive person in hopes that I would one day wake up happy. I decided to plant the first seed of positivity starting with my yearbook quote while also actually believing that my life would be different even if I couldn't see at the moment how changes would come about. In addition, I planned to keep making small and subtle positive changes in my life so as to water the first seed of positivity that I planted.
Seven years later, I can tell you that I have become a different person. Actually, I'd like to think that what I did was merely reclaim who I was prior to letting negative thoughts dictate my life. I feel more in touch with myself than ever before. I can now honestly say that I am proud of who I am, flaws and all. I no longer live my life as an apology for who I am because I am not sorry. I know what I bring to the table and know that as I continue to discover more parts of myself I will bring even more to the table. What exactly did I do, you ask? Well, that sounds like the topic of my next blog post. Until then I will say that change did indeed come eventually.
Stay tuned :-)
High school, especially my senior year, had been an extremely rough time for me. Perhaps I'll delve into the details of that in a later blog post when I feel comfortable. Despite all that went on during my four years in high school, I wanted to believe that it would not be indicative of the years to come. This belief did not come easily or suddenly because I had systematically allowed my life experiences to negatively color my outlook on my present and my future. It would require twice the effort and God knows how much time to undo the damage. At the time when I chose the quote I truly felt anything other than hopeful. However, I did not want myself or others to look back and see that all I left was a legacy of depression and sorrow.
I knew that if I wanted a future different than my past it would require different actions and a different mindset even if I was not yet fully sold on the idea of a bright future. Essentially, in the words of my pastor, I decided to "faith it until I made it." This is similar to but a bit different than the concept of faking it until you make it. I wasn't merely planning to go through the motions of a positive person in hopes that I would one day wake up happy. I decided to plant the first seed of positivity starting with my yearbook quote while also actually believing that my life would be different even if I couldn't see at the moment how changes would come about. In addition, I planned to keep making small and subtle positive changes in my life so as to water the first seed of positivity that I planted.
Seven years later, I can tell you that I have become a different person. Actually, I'd like to think that what I did was merely reclaim who I was prior to letting negative thoughts dictate my life. I feel more in touch with myself than ever before. I can now honestly say that I am proud of who I am, flaws and all. I no longer live my life as an apology for who I am because I am not sorry. I know what I bring to the table and know that as I continue to discover more parts of myself I will bring even more to the table. What exactly did I do, you ask? Well, that sounds like the topic of my next blog post. Until then I will say that change did indeed come eventually.
Stay tuned :-)
Tell me what you did! It's been more than a week and you're not hospitalized so its time for a post or two!
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